The pets stuff just keeps coming at me, so be prepared for a flurry of posts. First up, a little fun. Make sure you read to the end. Are these your dogs and cats?
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
8am: Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30am: A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40am: Walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am: Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
Noon: Lunch! My favorite thing!
1pm: Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3pm: Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5pm: Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7pm: Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8pm: Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11pm: Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre, dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other " inmates" and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously [brainwashed]! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now...
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1 comment:
All so true! I have one cat who is clearly thinking all these things, every minute, and another cat who can't be bothered to think! The dog goes out; the cats stay in jail...not fair! The parakeets keep an eye on it all!
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